I have always felt an affiliation with Angels, and remember being as young as four years old experiencing the disappointment of being cast as a shepherd in the school Nativity rather than an Angel. I was that little girl, who wanted to wear the beautiful white Angel gown and the tinsel Halo, and wasn’t too pleased about having to wear a checked tea towel over my head instead. Year upon year in primary school I sensed the injustice of only the fair haired, blue eyed girls being cast as Angels in the Christmas plays. I didn’t have any idea about how to speak up for this oversight at that age, and that’s a pattern that replays throughout our lives until we heal it isn’t it, or get the guts to change the status quo (Solar Plexus Chakra I’m looking at you); but I am happy to be able to declare in this blog post that Angels are for everyone, regardless of skin tone, physical appearance, culture or religion. Moonology: Working with the Magic of Lunar Cycles, in her book Moonology mentions that the language of Angels is actually Sanskrit. This was such a revelation and integration for me, as I grew up in a Hindu family with very religious roots and every Sunday we would attend Satsangs (prayer and hymn sessions) where we would recite Sanskrit mantras and prayers. Sanskrit is also the language of the Indian Vedic texts from which much spiritual knowledge has been endowed. I remember also hearing from Yasmin’s work that Angels love a ghee lamp, and ghee lamps were always lit in our house – my Grandma was big on ghee lamps and would always say they keep negativity away.
Angels are just these marvellous, loving beings full of magnificence, power and light. This is how I experience them at a feeling level and this is how I see them in my mind’s eye. Of course Angels are not a new concept and they are mentioned in countless spiritual texts and revered in many cultures but they filtered more onto my radar as a source of comfort and support only within the last couple of years. Before this I remember my lovely friend and spiritual running buddy Mana, was over at my house and she had brought a pack of Angel cards over and said she would read them. We explored some guidance on a personal situation I was struggling with. I remember the answer on the card she pulled striking me as being so accurate for the situation. Still after that I forgot all about Angel cards and went about my life. However one beautiful experience I can recall here is when I was pregnant with my son Dylan. I used to attend a pregnancy yoga class and during the relaxation and meditation for some reason I would just visualise these beautiful celestial Angels – a circle of them with flowing golden hair and crowns made out of flowers sitting in a beautiful meadow. It felt like they were holding my baby, looking after him until he was ready to be born. The scene was glowing, like in golden sunlight and I would thank them for delivering me a healthy happy baby. After class I would tell my husband that I felt these Angels were protecting our baby. I didn’t know the gender of the baby, but it always felt like they were holding a boy; low and behold my son was born with golden coloured hair and skin. It didn’t click at the time of the birth but then I eventually realised this couldn’t be a coincidence as me and my husband have dark hair and Indian tone of skin.
The rest of my journey with Angels began with the concept of Angel numbers. I had heard some spiritual teachers on YouTube such as Gabrielle Bernstein mention synchronicity numbers such as 11:11. I wondered why I had never really encountered these numbers, and what it meant. Here I will say be careful what you wish for because my ego was saying to me well you can’t be that spiritually aligned then if you don’t see these numbers; since that point I am literally flooded by Angel numbers every day and whilst it is so lovely and it is an absolute blessing and positive sign that Angels are guiding us, there are moments it can become overwhelming, especially when your mind steps in trying to figure out what it could all possibly mean. Nevertheless I really believe these numbers came into my life at the time they were meant to as a sign to wake me up and begin my own healing journey. On a collective level from what I’ve seen online this has been the case for many other people too. The time we are living in now appears to be the one where we need Angels to step in with their knowledge, wisdom, guidance and above all else love. When Angel Psychic Rachel Rendell was interviewed for Emma Mumford’s Spiritual Queen’s badass Podcast she mentioned that Angels are relatively new in terms of stepping in the Human dimension to offer connection and support.
The first time I saw 11:11 in the summer of 2016 was during a bit of a turbulent time in my life. I was staying at my parent’s house, struggling with two children under the age of two, getting to grips with being a mother of two and not realising how completely depleted I was from pregnancies close together. I was trying to prove I could do it all as a mum of two under two, not acknowledging the parts of my life that were not working or learning to say no, beating upon myself for not being perfect, issues with my relationship because of the different pressures we were under as well as not sleeping and battling feeding issues with the baby. I saw the Angel numbers on a YouTube video I was watching (not even a spiritual video, just a day in the life of a mum YouTuber) and from then I began seeing them more often on digital clocks, on receipts and whenever I picked up my phone it would happen to be 11:11. I would feel thankful but didn’t realise this was a wakeup call from the Universe, in the most loving way to pay attention to self-love and my own reality. Come the Autumn little did I know that I was going to receive an even bigger wake up call, a huge life lesson and transformation process to go through, but in the midst of all the chaos I kept seeing the Angel numbers 4444 which means thousands of Angels surround you in this moment. In that respect I feel they helped to soften the blow of the unease and pain that was happening at the time. I won’t delve into the finer details of the trigger because it is really personal and something I still don’t feel comfortable talking about, or replaying, but from that came feelings of intense anxiety and depression, and I almost felt like I would be better off not living. One of the nights I was going through this I was driving, feeling particularly overwhelmed and I saw a licence plate which said XX44 just as I was singing the song Angels by the XX, and then I turned on the radio to a station I never really listened to and in that moment that same song came on the radio. This was such a synchronistic occurrence, because that song had been released 4 years ago in 2012 and was more indie than mainstream music. It was so reassuring to know Angels were with me at a time when my spirit felt broken. Following that, healing didn’t happen immediately and it was a long unfolding process with much crying and unpacking of old wounds, but looking back I can see that Angels had sent me both blessings and lessons because I needed to call my power back and raise my standards so I could live a life more authentic to me and on my own terms. Some of these lessons were:
- To know that the only way to move through old fears, patterns and wounds was to acknowledge them.
- It was ok to sit with negative emotions, rather than squash them down or resist their existence out of guilt and shame.
- To experience anxiety and fear was just that – an experience, and was no reflection on my self-worth.
- That healing didn’t need to be rushed. I could slow down to create space and time to heal.
- To give the Universe a chance and not expect results before divine timing
- To redefine what a good life looked and felt like to me.
- To stop doing that classic Libran thing (I have tons of Libra in my birth chart – libra sun and moon and 5 planets) of saying yes to everything and everyone even when it didn’t feel right, which meant my energy was becoming depleted.
- To raise my standards and stop tolerating BS basically.
- Life didn’t need to look like this outward projection of perfection.
- I was literally humbled as well and it was a good place to start as we can’t always expect life to go our way – difficult things happen to all of us and we shouldn’t avoid the inner work.
- Self Love – work on feeling good from the inside out and find my own answers.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like these lessons were realised overnight and all was well – it was and still is a process and one that I’m still working through, but where the Angels come into this is opening me up to more and helping me see on a universal level I wasn’t alone, as more and more people began talking about anxiety and their inner struggles in the mainstream. A few blessings that came along were learning to set intentions and goals, to find healing energy tools such as yoga and journaling, getting on with my dream of writing inspiring content and the biggest blessing has been rediscovering my passion for song writing, and the Angels have been a massive part in the creation of some of these songs. I have written a song called Masterpiece which I dedicate to the healing and protective powers of Archangel Michael but can relate to any deity or Angel in any faith or even just the higher powers that be or the Universe; even a special human person in your life that makes you feel this way. I will share the chorus lyrics here:
Masterpiece Chorus: You walk through walls , You don’t question the limits , With Pure intentions you are taking me in it, I make believe it, You help create it, In this fairtytale, My heart ain’t breaking . Where Once their stood walls, Doors are now open, You are a healer, And I’m never broken, Where have you come from? A different dimension, Bringing a love, Just how I imagined, (how I imagined, how I imagined), Somewhere over the rainbow, Lights are calling you home, (Somewhere over the rainbow, Lights are calling you home), Won’t you stay for one dance, Serenade the moonlight, (Serenade the moonlight), Won’t you give me one dance here?
I just have so much gratitude for Angels – they bring me into a space of reassurance safety and stillness. Even my 4 year old tells me to ask the Angels when we can’t find his favourite toy and I will say the Angels will know where it is even if we don’t. I was slightly worried about going in so deep with this topic as I didn’t want people from my Hindu culture to perceive or judge this in a way that suggests I have abandoned what I grew up with and put my faith into something else. It truly doesn’t matter because I just felt called to open up about what feels true and authentic to me, and I really don’t see Angels as separate to the deities or spiritual concepts I grew up with, it’s all one and the same – it’s all a part of the Universe which we are also a part of and I will love Yasmin Boland forever for opening my eyes to this, and reinforcing how interconnected everything really is. I mean when I heard Angels communicate in Sanskrit so many pieces fit together and my mind was blown as when you ask it really is given. I remember in some of my more distressed moments I asked the Universe to help me live in a way that would balance all that I was learning about law of attraction and new age spirituality which I absolutely loved, with the religious beliefs I grew up with as in all honesty I was in a bit of a cultural paradox but that’s for another time! To end this blog post I thought I would mention that I absolutely love Angel Prayers Oracle CardsKyle Gray’s Angel Cards App – I downloaded the seven day trial at first to give oracle card reading a go and I absolutely felt so connected to the loving answers and positive guidance. One reading even led me to create a brand new song as a way of manifesting what I wanted. I wasn’t planning on keeping the app after the seven day trial but somehow it has stayed on my phone and sometimes even opens itself like hello we are here – ask away and the cards I pull are always spot on for the situation at hand.
Sometimes it’s about looking into the darkness, facing the shadows, and other times it’s being in the love and light – find what feels good to you and connect with it. Wishing you all a blessed day.
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